smell of scotch
the guy lying next to you in bed
hands you his business card
you awaken to the rasp of
moth wing against bread crumb
moth wing against bread crumb
one
by one
the ones
that got you here
to this room the color of 1978
hung in the hues of the photograph
you pretended to smile in
the one that developed
instantly
not like this want
slow
grown
in the basement of your ribcage
where the things
that change
are the things
that eat your insides
and this
canine's
canines
scrape
your marrow
your marrow
and you know
you know
that the only bones you have
can't
be
thrown
this poem humbly offered up for OpenLinkNight at dVerse poets.
This is just stunning.
ReplyDeleteNothing I can say will explain how much I love your writing...so I will just say.....I love your writing x
ReplyDeletelyrical.
ReplyDeleteThe business card, the smell of liquor, where the things that change are the things that eat your insides, canines scraping your marrow...the pain of all this, the imagry, to me is like a bad dream you're trying to recall but cannot. It's something I have felt but could not put into words. You did. This is powerful and very brave. A beautiful piece of work!
ReplyDeletethank you all for sharing my words today...and for the lovely comments. emerald city, how perceptive of you to devise that the poem was in part inspired by a dream. it was...that and a recent cancer scare.
ReplyDeleteStunning poem, Anjie ~ so vivid & captivating from first line to last, almost devouring me with its imagery.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/a1KtIJq5s4g
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Gripping. Powerful. And that sly humor with the business card. But the ending -- wow. The visceral feel of this -- the bones, the eating -- ack! I'm out of words. Just know that I suddenly felt how a dog must feel trying to get a bone out of his gut.
ReplyDeleteThis brings back a few memories. Glad I don't have to do that anymore. Visceral & powerful.
ReplyDeleteFantastic, you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Writing. A powerful poem.
ReplyDeletegentlemen, thank you all for taking the time, and for your thoughtful comments. high respect for each of you x
ReplyDeletedark and true to life.
ReplyDeletegrown
ReplyDeletein the basement of your ribcage
where the things
that change
are the things
that eat your insides....after reading your comment above this made all the more sense... very intense emotions here...also the ...moth wing against bread crumb...gave me shivers...strong and powerful writing like we're used from you
holy crap....very well written and felt as read...the repitition is superb and sets the tone well in this....the wing on the bread crumb...you had me sold at that point...
DeleteWell written and very effective in expressing the dark mood. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThis is great, but I think I've got a hangover now. And for some reason I feel like I've got the taste of broken marionette on my lips.
ReplyDeleteThis is powerful stuff. I love how you slow the pace with the repetition.
ReplyDeleteWow! You caught me right at the first line. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteWow very nicely done, like the mix of humor there and the repetition helped made it that much better.
ReplyDeleteAwesome.
ReplyDeleteLike Prometheus doomed to be visited by the eagle, devouring his liver in Hades. If only there were a crime to enjoy before the punishment.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Nice imagery and repetition. I loved the image of a room the color of 1978. Also, the idea of a canine's canine. Not sure if that is a reference to the canine of a man who acts like a dog, but overall stunning work!
ReplyDeleteWow. Beautifully crafted! I envy your mastery. :)
ReplyDeleteVery finely chiseled memorial to the wreck of a self. I find the repetition powerful and at times mantic. You call up a picture oerhaps that could be from hell or purgatory. The literalness of the images, though understood directly, seem to betoken a further meaning, a further life.
ReplyDeleteWow! Love the sound and how deeply this poem digs.
ReplyDelete